Hands wide open

Well, we have been in Buenas Aires for a week or so now. We travelled two days from Santiago, Chile across the Andes mountains to get to Buenas Aires. We left with high expectations and excitement. We had a contact all lined up that was going to host us and set us up to share in several churches. Some how this fell through but we felt much excitement about getting to Claudio Freizdon's church Rey de Reys. We rolled into town later in the evening and decided to stop and get something to eat and meet the pastor that was going to host us. It turns out we missed the pastor and we didn't have a place to stay. We were driving around until 1am looking for a hostile or a campground and couldn't find anything. We decided to turn down an alley and camp out. We asked permission from one of the guys that lived there to camp out in the field in the middle of the city across from his house. We had several people sleeping on a tarp, two of us slept on top of one of the RV's and everyone else in the other vehicles. We got some sleep but we were awakened by the police standing over the guys who were sleeping out on the tarp. The police could not believe what they were seeing. Several white men shirtless sleeping on a tarp, two white girls sleeping on top of a RV and two RV's and an SUV parked in this back alley. They were so surprised that we were still alive. They were scared for us and wanted us to get out of there so we wouldn't be apart of any bad stuff that might go down in that alley. They couldn't believe we were still alive. We all felt such peace and actually laughed at how we must look to these people. We got to pray with the man who gave us permission to stay there as well as we realized we had a flat and were able to fix it there off the road before we headed into downtown. We decided we really wanted to receive at this church that we had a contact. We didn't have a place to go but we trusted that we were suppose to be at that meeting. We rolled in all dirty and smelly from camping out in an alley. This church is 30,000 people with 5 services on the weekends and we witnessed lines of people waiting to get in that wrapped around the block. We were able to to walk up and get front row seats that had headsets for interpretation! God is so faithful and good. This was the first service that our team has been able to be apart of without doing some sort of ministry. We worshipped with several hundred people and got called up to the front to receive prayer from Him. He gave us all that he has received 20 years ago for the nations and full authority to go the nations. He laid his hands on us up at the front of his church. We felt so honored and blessed by this for this doesn't happen every day. There are thousands of people that come in and out of that place and we got to receive this man's mantle and ministry. They blessed us by setting us up in a hotel for two nights. We were so honored to sow into their ministry as they blessed us. With this ministry, we were able to serve and minister to the homeless. I ate lunch and sat with just a couple homeless people for an hour or so but the Lord used that time and these amazing people to show me a piece of Jesus' heart that I don't see in many people. There was a mother and her daughter there who were believers but the daughter was kidnapped when she was 16 years old and they abused her so badly that she now is handicapped and unable to speak. We prayed over her and I just broke down and had to leave and go weep in the bathroom for the Lord just humbled me and revealed to me how good I have it. I walked away thinking that girl could have been me. The Lord began to break my heart even more as he overwhelmed me with compassion for her. He showed me a glimpse of himself in this girl and her mother as well as another woman named Flores. Flores was a precious Jesus-loving prayer warrior Peruvian. She was homeless yet she consistently prays for America and Israel. Right after she met me she committed to praying for me. I was overwhelmed with this woman's heart. She had little to nothing yet she was praying for the rest of us. She has it figured out. She knows what love truly is. I saw her on the street right before we were about to leave town. I ran up and hugged her as her eyes lit up. She was so excited to tell me that she had prayed for me that morning and she wanted to continue to pray for me. She committed to praying for my husband and wanted to pray over the group. She was extremely humble and given to a life of prayer. Her gift to us was pouring out her heart to see God move in our lives. That to me is what Jesus' heart really looks like. I have been praying for the Lord to break my heart for the things that break His for the last several years and I have had moments where the Lord has broken me down and shown me a glimpse into His heart of raw compassion for people. This was definitely one of those moments but I long for it to be a lifestyle. It is so easy to “love” people when it is convenient on our own time. I am being convicted and called out to love even when “I don't feel it”. Even being here out of my comforts of home and many distractions in the western world I can still cling to our comforts and conveniences and hide away. With that we aren't stepping out and dying to our own desires. The Lord has awakened myself to my selfish motives and actions. I have been crying out to see God soften the parts of me that are still numb. I crave His raw vulnerable heart of compassion for every individual and don't want to hide in the pit of self denial any longer. I have been praying that the Lord would open my eyes and unravel me of myself. Our flesh wants results and something in return when we love. We want to look good and receive something back when we do something for someone else. Selfless true love challenges us to love for the sake of love without looking good, being noticed, or expecting anything back from anyone. Being selfless is truly the same as understanding love. Love is giving up your life for the sake of others just as Jesus did. We may all hear we need to be Christ-like but we don't always make the connection that we must waste our lives and give our lives every day for the sake of others. Jesus didn't come with any entitlement or selfish ambitions. I long for this humility and this attitude that very few people actually walk in. How does this look practically in my life right now? Welp, I live with 23 other people and our lives are always changing. Our beds, our meals, our money currency, the people we minister to, the sites around us are constantly changing, sometimes daily. We are a community of people that are crying out for the community of Acts 4 that lives for each other. With this lifestyle there are many opportunities to help each other out whether it is financially, with prayer, cleaning, a hug, encouraging word, or many many other things. The Lord has been speaking to me about servant leadership and I have been praying into what that really looks like. It is easy for me to get works oriented here since there isn't a set schedule to our lives. It is easy to slip into the mentality that I have to always be ministering out on the streets and sharing the gospel but I am realizing that servant leadership is a life style that requires me to serve and give of myself everyday to everyone around me. It requires me to be so full of Jesus that even the most dramatic, boring, over -exaggerated moment is bearable because I chose to depend on His strength. I am advancing the kingdom just as much when I chose to give up my afternoon to walk with someone into town that really wants to go make a phone call or even giving my money to someone who doesn't have a cent in their account. What I long to do is to purposefully seek out those moments each day who need encouragement whether it is someone on the street or someone on the team.

I am realizing that I can sail through these next few months getting to give and give out on the streets and see hundreds come to know Christ or I can use this time to see the Lord unravel me and cleanse me. In situations like this there is nowhere to run and hide and the Lord quickly brings stuff to the surface in our lives that aren't Christ. I have seen such pride, jealousy, self- righteousness, rejection and fear come up in me these last few weeks that I so easily hid behind and forgot about when I was busy back home. To me it is an honor to be in this spot of refining purification. Why would I want to be blinded to my self? Why would I want to think that I am righteous in my own strength or that I have it all figured out? I am crying out to be removed from the pit of self denial that looks to myself as “queen of the right” and argues her way out of every rebuke or sinful situation from her throne of selfishness. I long to take every thought captive and only see words of life come out of my mouth. I am learning to live each day one at a time but also learning how to discipline myself for what tomorrow might bring. As I have mentioned in earlier blogs, I feel such a stirring for song writing and learning the uke and the guitar. I have such a burden for worship and desire to be walking in this all the time. I have received words of having the heart of David and I really want to walk in that so I have decided to study the life of David and read through the Psalms and glean all that I can.

I am also realizing how much power our words have and as I am trying to take every thought captive that doesn't align with the Word. I am also trying to make my words be more few. I don't want my words to ever be a gateway for pride or even death. I want to walk in wisdom and understanding and see my words change the atmosphere and bring life.

There is a song that says, “ I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open. There is nothing I hold onto” by United Pursuit. I feel that this song is my theme song on this trip. The Lord is bringing up things that I didn't even know where hiding out. It is good for I have few places to take it but to the foot of the cross and see it dealt with and gone forever. I have asked the Lord to remove all that I have held onto tightly for I don't want to cling to anything but Him. I have been able to let go of the value of my stuff for it quickly loses value in this kind of community as it gets broken and dirty or emptied really fast. There is always a need and always a window for me to die to my self and give something up for someone else. It is a beautiful thing really. In regards to finances, there are many on the team who really don't have much or any money in their account and they are praying for breakthough. The other night we gathered as a team around those that need financial provision and we cried out together for breakthrough.We truly want to function as a family that gives us and helps all so we called people to step up that have money to give for those that don't. This really messes with our flesh because we quickly are entitled to our money for many reasons but I felt the conviction of the Lord for holding out and thinking that I had to “save” some money for later. He reminded me of the promises that he has made with me that He will always provide and that I will never have to worry about finances. He challenged me to give abundantly from my funds to help those that really need it. It screwed with my mind that wants to have enough money in my account for the rest of the trip but I realized, where is the fun in that? That doesn't create an opportunity for faith to reach out and for reason to kneel aside in reverence. The Lord told me that He will always out-give me and multiply what I gave times five or more. I got really excited for I can't wait to see Him multiply my money as He has been doing for so many others on the team. Creating opportunities in faith to see the impossible happen is what we are called to do on a daily basis. Faith is spelled “r.i.s.k” and it requires action to it. We just have to remember that we are sons and daughters of the Creator of the universe and we can access our banks in heaven that have no limits by faith. We can call down and even reach up and grab the inheritance that is ours now!

God is good and I am so excited and honored to be on this journey. I know this is just the beginning and the best truly has yet to come. I feel that this is such a time of pressing in and disciplining ourselves to cry out and be purified by the love of Christ and it is hard a lot of times but there is such fruit that is going to come out of this. I know that each little thing that happens here is a natural act of something that is happening in the spirit on a greater scale and I am excited about that. I want the more! I want to be found faithful with the little so that when God asks me to preach to a few hundred, lead worship at a meeting, or go raise the dead, or even multiply food to feed several thousand people, I will be ready because I was found faithful in the preparation season.

One last neat testimony that happened in the last couple days. We were near the border to Uruguay from Argentina and we were stopped by the police. They decided to fine us for not having insurance on the cars but we were told that we didn't need insurance when we entered the country. They fined us $600 that we really didn't have. In the process of praying and interceding for breakthrough and favor and trying to not be discouraged, one of the policemen gave their lives to the Lord and received the Holy Spirit! Not only that, but we got to the border and they required us to get insurance so several people went ahead to the next town to get it at a local bank. By the end of the deal they asked if they could pray for the bank since they had been so kind to us. The WHOLE bank decided to gather and hold hands to pray...all the employees and even some of the costumers that were there too! They helped find us a place to stay that was cheap and great. God is so good and redeems situations better than we can ever imagine.

More to come, but that is enough for now. Thank you all for your prayers and support. If you feel led to send any funds please send them to:

Journey Church

1491 W Rose Street 

Walla Walla WA 99362 

Any funds are tax deductable.

 I truly appreciate it! I miss you all back home and am with you in spirit,

Worshipping on the ferry

Worshipping with a precious church in Santiago that receives much persecution

Some fun times our last night in Punta Arenas at a wonderful party they through for us

Here is some of our beautiful family in Punta Arenas that treated us like queens and kings

Melissa and I rocking out outside one of our hostels

Taylor and Natalie sharing at one of the churches in Santiago, Chile

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