A Good Heart is a Weak Willing One

Wow- I'm realizing how soon my trip is coming up! It is less than two months away.
 I came home from IHOP with the itch to get going on selling my car. As I was thinking about the process of it, I hear the Lord say, "I can sell it within a week". I had also been praying about keeping the car in the family some how or at least with someone that I knew since the car had much sentimental value to me and such a great story to pass along. I just kind of disregarded it. I put my car up for sale on Monday night the 5th and by Wednesday morning the 7th, I get a voicemail and a Facebook message from some relatives that had just totaled their car and wanted to buy mine!  Praise the Lord! So, we got to see them on Saturday (which was a treat in itself since we don't see them often) and I sold my car to them! TO FAMILY. WITHIN A WEEK. God is so good. This was incredibly encouraging and confirming that I am on the right track.

I also put in my notice as work which went super smooth and my last day there will be March 8th. The staff is very supportive and encouraging with this change. It will be a bitter sweet time leaving there for that job has been full of many trials and tests for me but also so many great people that I will miss.

 It is bitter sweet thinking of saying goodbye to my family and dear friends. The Lord is so faithful to swoop in and encourage me. As my eyes swell with tears, I consider it a privledge to lay it all down for Him who did it for me. It is an honor to be able to have money,a job, great relationships, a home, and any other thing to lay down for him as a sacrifice. I think of Jesus who came to bring life to all by becoming a sacrifice and we are called to the same. By choosing to sacrifice, I am opening the door for God to come and bring eternal life through my temporal life. That to me is the biggest honor ever. I, as an individual have the ability and the power to act in faith and trust in order to see the impossible happen. As I step aside and trust him, I know that things are going to start happening that are out of my reach and out of my ability. That is where I want to live all the time.

It is opportunities like this that cause us to really ponder what it is we really want in life. We aren't all called to remote villages and tribes but we are all called to someone. That someone is the best thing that could ever happen to us because it is there with that person or group of people that we are forced to trust Him and get to know His character and see God do the impossible. It is all about relationship. Everything God does for us, around us, against us is all used to bring us into relationship with Him. It doesn't always look easy but I can tell you that being in the center of His will for your life is the best feeling every. You feel your own desires die off, you feel the raw flesh exposed and then you feel the Lord wash over those places with His love molding your heart to look like His. He knows what is best for us and we don't.
I have come to this place where I desperately want to see how weak I am without Him. This last year at my job I began to see a glimpse of that. They Lord gave me some impossibly situations that taught me to really pray and believe Paul's prayer, " When I am weak then I am strong." I realized that I went into the year praying for faith, patience and a good heart. Looking back on the year at my job, I can see how God answered my prayers. I began to understand that a good heart is a weak willing one. I learned that if I really want to see the depths of His love, I need to understand the depth of sin and weakness in my life that He has covered and wiped clean. I want to be clean and clear of all the selfish ambition and the little thoughts that think I know what is best. It's a lie! We have seen it over and over again in the Bible of God's people thinking they have got it right as they pursue the temporal satisfaction and lose sight of his plan for their lives. I think of the story of Achan in Joshua 7 that paints a beautiful picture of God's heart and jealousy over us. Here is a man who decides to steal some of the gold that the Israelites have won while in battle with a people group that are between them and the Promised Land. The Lord stops Joshua in his tracks and tells him who stole some gold and hid it in his tent. The battle stops and all the tribes of Israel come to a halt to find this hidden bit of gold. The battle couldn't be won until they got rid of him and all that he considered his. There was no way that the Israelites could enter the Promised Land and win the battles they were in until they all had their eyes on the end goal, the Promised Land which is ultimately Jesus. This to me, tells a beautiful story of how God pursues us. He brings us into battles that cannot be won unless we look to Him and keep our focus on the prize, Him. We are then tempted to make our own plans and hord some gold that we think we deserve. It is here in the battle we determine that we are weak and we need Him, but it is also here in the battle the Lord brings hope, relationship, blessing and promise of the eternal life with Him. We are all tempted to stop and settle for the temporal things that we know don't bring full satisfaction but bring comfort and are able to be controlled by us. Since we cannot escape the battles and nowhere in the Bible says that the Christian life is a walk in the park, lets embrace the fact that we are weak and we are nothing without Him! Let's look at every obstacle and battle as a chance to dance with Him. Let's find him in every circumstance. Let's consider it an honor to serve and work and battle now for the promise of eternal treasures and enjoyment with Jesus. With all this said, I want to encourage you all to hang in there and don't give up with whatever you are battling now. Find him and embrace your weakness for then we can see through the blinders of pride and selfish ambition to the one who can carry us through anything.There will be more coming soon, but bless you all as you find Him today. I appreciate any prayers too as I prepare to leave for South America within the next couple months.
Given for love,